Depression is no doubt a serious illness. It is that abysmal void that can extinguish all light from your life. The recent best and simple explanation of this malady in pop culture was depicted in the Harry Potter books and movies as the presence of Dementors. However, depression has also been a subject that has always been controversial and a taboo. There was a time when no one talked about depression because it was considered a sign of weakness. Now, with the rich and famous talking about depression, they have made it a tool that connects them to the common man, and put it in a place where it faces the danger of being branded as just another ruse. In This Close to Happy, Daphne Merkin talks about her lifelong depression and the waning and waxing gloom in her life.
Daphne Merkin is a former staff writer for The New Yorker and a regular contributor to ELLE. Her previous books include Enchantment, which won the Edward Lewis Wallant Award for best novel on a Jewish theme, and two collections of essays, Dreaming of Hitler and The Fame Lunches, which was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year.
This Close to Happy: A Reckoning with Depression
Author: Daphne Merkin
Hardcover: 304 pages
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (February 7, 2017)
ISBN: 0374140367, 978-0374140366
This Close to Happy Summary
Depression is a serious thing. Not being able to laugh when watching a humorous TV show, or bringing yourself to getting up and doing the routine stuff that millions do everyday, is a pain that is never seen. But the darkest hour can come in one swift moment and suck out the last bit of air in one rushed sweep. I don’t know if you – the depressed – should take up this memoir. Because “Lately, I have been thinking about suicide again . . . ” is the gloomy beginning that may give just enough agreement to push you over the edge. Fighting a battle to live, in the most favorable environment with no enemy in sight, is the toughest battle that you fight.
This Close to Happy begins with a spiral of negative thoughts that turns a perfectly normal day into a big monster and another battle. The author takes you inside the head of a clinically depressed person and shows you the world from their lens. She points out how the discourse about depression of successful people has made it an exotic illness that is anything but that. She also shows how depression is one of the most difficult things to spot. As compared to a manic person who makes a lot of noise, a depressed individual is more likely to withdraw and shrink into a corner. A corner that gets invisible in the daily battles for survival of people around you.
The author gives various accounts of episodes throughout her life. Some manageable and fleeting, others that required a visit to the Psych ward and a long recovery period. Everyone has a soft spot somewhere, and every one of us is more sensitive to certain things. The author narrates a detailed account of her materially rich, but emotionally poor childhood, which she thinks could be the contributing factor in her life-long battle with depression.
The memoir then dives into the second bout of acute depression that the authors suffered post having a baby. All through the book the author talks about her treatments and the constant self-analysis she has suffered. The eternal question of nature vs. nurture that has bothered her all her adult life and still does in many ways. The constant evaluation of an unhappy childhood or inability to forget, forgive, and move on that has bogged her down, and many similar thoughts for the crux of the self evaluation phase.
This Close to Happy bares it all and also how the author has somehow been able to survive with medicines and therapy to block out the negative thoughts just enough to stay functioning in the world.
This Close to Happy Reviews
This Close to Happy gives an inside view of what goes on in the mind of a depressed person. However, not in terms of medicine or of the causes. After all, this is a memoir and tells the story of one person. There are millions who suffer from this ailment, growing up in thousands of different circumstances. Reading this painful account is not a cakewalk, but as the author says, nobody wants to talk of depression and no one wants to listen to hopeless negative thoughts. The book surely shows how difficult it is for a clinically depressed person to put a smile on their face and walk into the world each day. These reviews of This Close to Happy accurately summarize the content of the book.
“For all its highly personal focus, it is an important addition to the literature of mental illness.” ~ Andrew Solomon, The New York Times.
“Merkin eloquently blends the personal with the researched; her intellectual tenacity and emotional rawness impress as much as they entertain.” ~ Publisher’s Weekly
“It’s hard to find much solace within the relentless gloom—however insightfully explored—of one writer’s depression.” ~ Kirkus Review
Interview with Daphne Merkin on “This Close to Happy”