Another book that sold over 15 million copies, I’m OK–You’re OK by Thomas Harris uses the principles of Transactional Analysis to solve problems in life. I’m Ok–You’re OK is one of the four ‘life positions’ that one can take, and it is the most ideal one according to the author.
Transactional Analysis says there are three possible states a person can be in – parent, adult, child – popularly known as the P-A-C model. Everything we experience in life is part of our memory. A child is told several things in the form of do’s and don’ts and these form part of the Parent state. The child experiences several things while growing up, and these experiences contribute to the Child state. Every individual gradually develops their own thinking and forms opinions independent of what they have been told. These memories are part of the Adult state.
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Any person can switch from one state to the other, and this determines the four possible life positions – I’m not OK-You’re OK, I’m OK-You’re Not Ok, I’m not OK-You’re Not Ok and the most ideal, I’m Ok–You’re OK. Any individual can easily slip into a Child or Parent state of mind, instead of remaining in the Adult state.
After explaining the P-A-C states, and the life positions, the book talks about its impact on different areas of life like marriage, children and adolescents. There is a chapter on how P-A-C relate to moral values, and how they can have an impact on society.
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The book has been written in the 1960s so some of the anecdotes may not make sense to millennials. In hindsight, some say that the P-A-C model did not turn out to be as important as the author believed it would be. But the behaviors explained in the book do resonate with us even today. I had a few light bulb moments while reading the book.
Do you think there is enough strife in our life? What if you could get rid of at least some of it, by changing your behavior or reactions just a little bit? I’m Ok–You’re Ok is the book that can help you do that. Or at the very least, it can certainly give you the insight to realize when you are acting like a petulant child or being the overbearing parent :).
Check out the book at the following stores.
Buy I’m OK–You’re OK on Amazon.com
Buy I’m OK–You’re OK on Amazon India